We recently came across a heated discussion on Reddit about what is more important: family or work. One user complained that he hardly saw his loved ones due to the frantic workload at the office. There was a heated discussion under his post about whether this was really necessary. Perhaps it's time to reduce the demand on yourself a little and remember that even the highest salary is just a few pieces of paper in your wallet or numbers in a bank account?
So let's explore the arguments for and against putting family before work.
Argument #3: We don't actually need expensive things.
It is believed that a successful person should live in a good house, regularly relax on the beach and have the latest model of smartphone. But recently there has been a tendency in society to reduce the cost of living. For example, in the United Kingdom there is already a whole movement called “Don't Buy”. Its participants save significant amounts of money and at the same time take care of the environment.
You can always survive on much less money than you are used to. It will be enough to have only one car for the whole family (or stop using a car completely), stop buying ready-made food, move from a metropolis to a small city or village.
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Argument No. 1: all sacrifices are for the good of the family
Let's agree that we go to work (even one of our dream jobs) not on a whim, but to earn money. Every day, you consciously sacrifice your time, your strength, and even your health to ensure that your loved ones live in abundance, that bills are paid, and that your children have prospects for a good future.
You provide your family with a decent standard of living. If your child is good at sports or academic activities, then who, besides you, will provide the financial stability necessary for his education and upbringing? Don't your loved ones see the great efforts you make for their well-being?
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Popular writings
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- essay-reasoning 6th grade What could be more wonderful than a vacation on the sea coast? Picturesque resorts attract vacationers with a bizarre variety of entertainment. - Essay Time in the novel Fathers and Sons
by I.S. Turgenev dates the events taking place in the novel very precisely: they last six months, starting from May 20, 1859 until the winter of 1860.
Argument #3: Work can be fun.
It happens that people completely consciously immerse themselves in work. These are loners, not very suitable for family life, who marry only under pressure from society. They can tell everyone how tired they are in the office, but they won't do anything to change that situation.
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If you work hard, that's your choice. It is very common to switch to a different work schedule with fewer hours or decide to switch or downsize your standard of living. If you pretend you don't have this opportunity, you are lying to yourself and others.
Argument #4: As children grow up, they will appreciate the sacrifices they have made.
Many who spend their days at work believe that sooner or later their children will appreciate the sacrifices they have made. But this will happen only after 10 or 20 years, when they start working and supporting their family. Even if they don't understand it now and think that "I'm doing this for you" is an excuse.
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Essay 2
The person who is brought up and developed in an atmosphere of friendly family relations from early childhood is absolutely happy in life. Both mother and father must be participants in the upbringing process. However, if we talk separately about the role of the father in the life of his child, then, first of all, we must keep in mind that without him the life of children is incomplete. In some families, he also takes the place of the mother.
In the fate of each child, adaptation to any changes at a certain stage of life will occur easily if the father serves as an example to follow for his child. At the same time, masculine behavior and masculinity are important for the development of both girls and boys. Every detail left unthought through in a mentor’s action can harm their children in the future.
Children need special attention when it comes to health and learning. In this case, both appropriate praise and careful criticism are important from the father. This begins the formation in the children’s subconscious of what is good and what is bad.
In a traditional family, the responsibilities assigned to the father often boil down to providing financial security. This is accompanied by a certain distance between family members. Therefore, it is important to beware of a lack of feelings in your relationship with your child. It is important for a daughter to communicate and evaluate her father, since in his face she will later consider those traits that she will transfer to the person with whom she wants to connect her life in the future. Strength, representativeness, wisdom - this is what the son will sooner or later try to take over from his father. In order for the desired similarity to bring joy, you need to be able to choose the right methods of communication and raising a child. The behavior model of an adult directly depends on his self-esteem, which was formed under the influence of the head of the family.
Among the works of Russian literature, despite the years of their creation, the theme of fathers and sons is of great importance.
Infinite patience, great all-forgiving love on the part of the protagonist’s father is revealed on the pages of I. S. Turgenev’s novel “Fathers and Sons.” And although there is misunderstanding between generations, the time spent between father and son since childhood is priceless. Although it is late, wisdom and understanding will come to Eugene.
Thus, in order for a child to be able to cope with obstacles in the future without harm to his physical and mental health, a full-fledged family is necessary, in which each mentor has his own role, but the image of the father occupies a special place in the child’s soul.
Bonus: how not to get tired at work
To be honest, we also don’t know which of these statements can be called 100% true. It seems that everyone has their own truth. Perhaps the main thing is to stop making excuses and accept yourself for who you are: an exemplary father or a workaholic who expresses love for his loved ones by creating material wealth for them. And to find a balance between family and work, you can try to follow the advice of Internet users:
- Discuss with your boss the possibility of working remotely 1 or 2 days a week (although you will need enough experience and a strong sense of yourself as a professional to do this).
- For at least one weekend, turn off your phone and set an answering machine in your inbox.
- The seventh day of the week should be family time; Incorporate a new tradition on the day, such as ordering pizza and watching movies together.
- Treat yourself to pleasant surprises: ask for a few days off, pick up your child from school early and spend time with him.
- Send your loved ones reminders of you throughout the day, send them sweet text messages and congratulate them on important dates.
- Show your significant other and your children that you are willing to invest in them not only money, but also time (if they play sports, join them, if they like to read, go to the library).
Given these simple rules, you will be able to combine hard work and family, without fear of paying less attention to one or another aspect. Perhaps sometimes you yourself will need to work more in some places, and in others you need to rest more, so don’t miss this opportunity, go for it!
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Family as a factor influencing the formation of a child’s personality
Bibliographic description:
Tkacheva, A.V. Family as a factor of influence on the formation of a child’s personality / A.V. Tkacheva. — Text: immediate // Pedagogy today: problems and solutions: materials of the V International. scientific conf. (St. Petersburg, July 2021). - St. Petersburg: Own publishing house, 2021. - pp. 45-47. — URL: https://moluch.ru/conf/ped/archive/337/15230/ (access date: 09.25.2021).
This article examines the role of family education in the development and formation of a child’s personality, as well as the formation of his cultural and moral values.
Key words: life, parents, child, family, education, personal relationships, little personality.
An unconditional factor in the formation and development of personality is the environment in which the child grows up and, in particular, his family. What a child acquires remains with him for the rest of his life in the form of heavy or useful luggage. The importance of a family is that a person remains in it throughout his entire life, from the beginning living in the one in which he was born, and then creating his own. In the process of trusting and close relationships with all household members, the child’s personality structure is formed.
The family has a huge influence on the development of a child’s personality; children who are deprived of the opportunity to grow up in a family or who are subjected to violence in it, unfortunately, very often grow up with a broken destiny due to the fact that the value system was not correctly and timely embedded in the little personality. What can we say about those who generally grew up in an orphanage, their mental and social development is inhibited, the upbringing of these children proceeds according to a completely different scenario, in contrast to those who grew up in a complete and prosperous family.
The family, considered a small group in society, creates conditions of safety and peace for the child, providing support and assistance, forming a person’s belonging to society. In a family, people take care of each other, satisfying everyone’s needs, but, unfortunately, this does not always happen, because there are no ideal families, but failure to fulfill its basic functions can leave a negative imprint on the child. Lack of security and mutual assistance can develop him into a less than emotionally mature person. Considering the role of the family in the development of a person’s personality, it is worth noting the main function of the development of psychological components that are valuable to society [1, p.133].
As mentioned above, a person is a member of two families in his life, his own and which he creates himself in the future. An important stage is marriage and matrimony, as well as the birth of a child. From the point of view of social psychology, spouses are a special group consisting of people of the opposite sex. After the formation of a family, the process of adaptation and adjustment to each other begins. Here, the unconditional factor in the success of the family is their ability to compromise, show patience and respect for each other; difficulties in marriage can arise for everyone, but the question is whether the spouses will be able to overcome them or prefer to take the easy path, which can lead to divorce [2 , p.70].
The birth of a child should be one of the significant events in the family and between spouses. This next test, new social roles and responsibilities that they decided to take upon themselves, will become one of the tests of the strength of their relationships. The birth of a child and the need to provide him with everything he needs is not everything; the main thing here is the emotional connection with him. In order to achieve the harmonious development of a small personality, the parents themselves must be in a calm emotional state, since the child feels everything and it is important to him what kind of relationships reign in the family [3, p. 351].
The relationship that parents build with their children can be called their emotional position; this is one of the most important factors in the formation of the child’s personality. There is a gradation of this factor from dominance to complete indifference. Here, of course, it is very important to establish communication and contact with the child, so that later we can talk about giving back. Violation of relationships can provoke excessive control or a dominant character, then don’t be surprised why the child begins to close down or show aggression against you [4, p.56].
From a very early age, parents should devote their time to the child in the right way; the baby should not feel that he is left to his own devices, he should feel love and care. The child, through his parents, communicates with them to learn to think, chooses one or another model of behavior. Through the correct behavior that is in front of his eyes, the child learns his behavior and reactions with other people.
Unfortunately, a child’s behavior largely depends on his upbringing in the family. Preschoolers, for example, often see themselves through the eyes of adults, that is, looking at the behavior of their parents, they mirror it in their lives. Children with low self-esteem appear thanks to overly demanding parents, who, instead of praising their child, begin to attack him with reproaches, and if he commits any offense, then the end of the world generally comes. A child at this age begins to develop a feeling that he is not loved and is useless in this society, that he has not lived up to the wishes and hopes of his parents, who with their behavior can lead to suicide, we need to be very careful with what we say to our children, because in the early stages of personality development, the child needs support, even if he was wrong, and not in a stream of eternal reproaches from the people closest to him. The same can be said about high self-esteem, here the parents showed themselves to be real and loving, but the question is, will such a child be able to achieve something in life or build normal relationships with other people? I think that there will be serious problems here too, because the complete absence of a punishment system is also a negative factor. Then you shouldn’t be surprised that the child, due to his too high self-esteem, has a lot of problems, for example with his peers, and eventually with his own parents too. He is used to being the first and good at everything, but in life this does not happen, when he comes to class, the child will face competition, the teacher’s attention will be directed not only to him, which can certainly become a serious injury, because at home he is the best, and here, he has to prove something to someone.
According to the author, the best relationship between parents and children can be considered the chosen style called democracy. This style promotes independence, activity, initiative and social responsibility in the child. Parents know how to competently maneuver between rewards and punishments, forming the correct ideas about themselves in the child.
No matter how anyone argues with the fact that personality formation is achieved at the peak of adolescence, the author of the article still does not agree with this, since the emotional attachment of a child to his parents occurs precisely in the early stages and in the first years of life. By middle and high school, the style of relationship with the parent has long been established, thanks to the way the parents built a relationship with the child while he was still small.
For a child, parents act in different roles and “guises” throughout his life:
a) as a source of emotional support and warmth;
b) as power, those who encourage and punish him;
c) as a model to look at and conform to.
We should not forget what kind of parents we are, children still feel an emotional attachment and need to be loved and protected. It is very bad when a child feels the absence or lack of attention and love for himself - this can serve as negative consequences in his life, even in his own personal relationships with the opposite sex, but an excess of emotional influence of parents on the child can also cause him trauma, too cozy the parent's nest does not stimulate the long-grown chick to fly out of it.
Moving on to the conclusions, it is worth saying that the role of the family and parents in the formation of a child’s personality is invaluable, because it acts as an institution in which connections between all its members are formed throughout life.
It is in the family that the foundations of moral education begin to be laid, different forms of relationships are formed, and the child’s inner world and his individual qualities are revealed.
The goal of education for parents should be the development of the little man into a versatile personality. Who herself knows how to move him, and the parents’ tasks are only to guide him in this, and not to try to make him into some kind of person who is completely incomprehensible to him.
The main and fundamental rule that parents must remember and not break is consistency and democratic behavior in relations with the child.
Literature:
- Zemskaya M. R. “Family and Personality”, M., 1999, ed. "Progress".
- Kovalev S.V. “Psychology of Family Relations”, ed. "Pedagogy", 1987
- "Pedagogy" ed. Babansky Yu. K., M. 1983, ed. "Education"
- Zakharova L. Ya. “Child in line for affection,” M. 1999.
Key terms
(automatically generated)
: child, parent, family, life, small personality, birth of a child, friend, high self-esteem, role of the family, formation of the child’s personality.
