I turned to the topic: “ What is maternal love - arguments ”? I had an epiphany in understanding this beautiful multifaceted feeling. Previously, I considered motherhood to be the main purpose of a woman, and maternal love to be the highest sacrificial feeling.
From the heights of my years and accumulated life experience, I see the main component of maternal love in something else - in creating a strong space of love in the family. A space in which the child develops healthy and feels happy in an atmosphere of love between parents.
Mother's love is a special feeling
Undoubtedly, maternal love is the most selfless, strong and gentle, kind and bright feeling in the world. She knows no boundaries, does not demand anything in return, supports the child always and in everything, gives him strength and confidence in life.
A mother's love is capable of devotion and care, patience and tirelessness, spiritual generosity and warmth.
Each of us is warmed by boundless motherly love, especially in difficult times for us.
In literature, history and in life there are many examples of sincere maternal love, which worked miracles, brought us back to life, saved us from illness, and supported us in critical moments. Because the mother, in times of dangerous situations for the child, shows unprecedented physical and moral abilities to save him.
I remember my mother with warmth and love. I could always rely on her, she was always on my side: she was sincerely happy about my successes, and in difficult situations she helped, supported and reassured me. She shared the last with us children, brushing aside that she didn’t need anything. She always forgave our misdeeds, complaints, and sometimes dissatisfaction.
Formulation of the phrase in task 9.3
How do you understand the meaning of (words, phrases, expressions) MOTHER'S LOVE?
Write an essay-reasoning on the topic “How does a mother’s love manifest itself?”
"What is mother's love?"
“How does motherly love manifest itself?”
Explanation
Mother's love for children is one of the highest and noble feelings on earth. It manifests itself in the desire to create conditions for a child for a happy and healthy life. The mother protects from troubles and misfortunes, helps in difficult times, rejoices at the successes and good fortune of the children. Mother's love is boundless and selfless.
Based on the text by I. Seliverstova
Mother's love is a huge force, creative, creative, inspiring. She is capable of working miracles, bringing people back to life, and saving them from dangerous diseases. She can punish, but most often she is used to mercy. Who better than a mother will take pity, caress and reassure? Only gentle, familiar hands with their touch will relieve pain and fatigue. Only warm mother's lips will ease physical and moral suffering.
Raising a good person begins, among other things, with cultivating a feeling of gratitude towards one’s mother. If a child does not know how to appreciate what is given to him by his closest and dearest person, then he is unlikely to be able to objectively evaluate those around him in life. We find reflections on this in the text by Inna Seliverstova: “...we need to give warmth to mothers every day and hour, because grateful children are the best gift for them.”
In the work of N.V. Gogol's "Taras Bulba" the mother of Andriy and Ostap loved her sons very much, she was incredibly happy about their return, and when she heard that they would soon leave, she cried all night, her heart foresaw trouble. After all, a mother always feels when something bad happens to her child. She had a hard time being separated from her sons.
A mother, like a bird, carefully covers her child from adversity and danger with a reliable wing. Doesn't sleep at night next to a sick baby's crib. He holds his hand tightly when he is scared or lonely. Regardless of our age, we will always be children for our mother; she will always take care of us, worry about our failures and be incredibly happy about even the smallest victories.
Names of works of literature that can be used as a second example argument
V. Astafiev “Belogrudka”, “Involved in all living things”
K. Vorobyov “Aunt Egorikha”
V. Zakrutkin “Mother of Man”
I. Turgenev “Sparrow”
The invisible connection between mother and child
The child is connected with his parents through invisible spiritual ties. But his connection with his mother is especially strong. For a newborn, helpless and in need of love, a mother is the basis of existence. Unconsciously he is attached to her. It is through her that the child learns the world and survival strategy.
Unconditional maternal love at the beginning of a child’s life provides him with security, peace, trust, and care. For a mother, a child is the best, because she accepts him as he is, the dearest and dearest, carried for nine months under the heart and born in pain.
The enormous creative love of a mother helps not only to preserve the life and health of the child, but also to shape his character and worldview. This is probably why the slogan “holy maternal love” was born.
Indeed, the connection with our mother runs like a strong, invisible thread through our entire lives.
As the child grows up, he needs not only the love of his mother, as a friend and wise mentor, but also communication with his father, as the new center of his affection and the guiding principle of thoughts and actions.
At this stage of growth, the father's praise and encouragement are very important for the child.
And at the stage of full maturity, an adult child is freed from both maternal and paternal care, affirming in himself the principles learned in the family. Parents should encourage the adult child to separate.
However, most mothers are not ready for this, since their unconditional love for their little child, in the process of upbringing, turns into possessive love with certain conditions.
We, mothers, need to understand that children need to be let go of themselves in time to live independently. At the same time, it is useful to know that we will never lose the invisible spiritual connection with them - this is how the world works. But the overwhelming majority of mothers, alas, have not learned to do this.
By making mistakes in upbringing, by loving children with possessive love, we doom them to illness and failure in life. From the material: “ Why does a child often get colds ” you can find out what pathologies in children under five to seven years of age arise due to a certain condition of the mother.
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The main components of maternal feelings
Discussing the question “ What is maternal love - arguments ”, we will try to highlight the main components of this emotional impulse. This will allow us to better understand the multifaceted feeling of maternal love.
Probably, in the first place we need to put the instinct of procreation , which is inherent in all types of living life on earth, and first of all, in humans. Awareness of oneself as a woman - a mother who must conceive, bear and give birth to a child - awakens maternal love.
The second - the most important component of maternal feeling - is bright and pure love for the child, as a creation, a product of the love of a woman and a man .
I remember my indescribable feeling of angelic love for our first-born, when my husband and I, hugging each other, reverently held him in our arms. This was in the first days after being discharged from the hospital. We were literally overwhelmed by a feeling of indescribable delight that we had given birth to a little man. The awareness of being parents came later in the form of an unfamiliar feeling of enormous responsibility for a tiny native creature.
I would call the third component of maternal feeling a sense of ownership . Yes, it is precisely this emotion, which is subsequently detrimental to the child, that arises in the woman who gives birth. The mother believes that only she knows what her “blood” needs. Only she decides what is useful and what is harmful for her child.
Possessive maternal love fetters the freedom of a growing child and his ability to fully develop.
Often, a mother’s feeling contains pity - a very strong energetic feeling that can lead to unpredictable consequences in the child’s life.
Often found in maternal love is such a component as selfishness . It manifests itself in the conscious or unconscious hope of seeing in the child a person to solve tasks and problems that a woman could not cope with in her life.
For example, a single mother wants her daughter to have a good family, which she was unable to create. Or the mother sees in the child support and support for herself in old age.
Rarely, there is another component of maternal feeling - unexpressed female love . If there is no man in the family or there is a bad relationship between the parents, the woman unconsciously has a desire to throw out all her unspent feminine love on her son. This kind of “loving” of a boy also does not benefit him in the future.
All mothers are different and show their motherly love in different ways. In other words, in each mother certain components of maternal feelings may predominate and to varying degrees. It depends on her upbringing and the atmosphere in which she grew up. We often transfer our parents' behavior patterns onto our family.
But since “love is an art, the same as the art of living” (Erich Fromm), it requires “knowledge and effort.” To prevent maternal love from negatively affecting your beloved child, you need to constantly rethink your feelings and relationships with the child. Try to bring out the best in him, and not cause him moral trauma.
Excessive maternal love and its harm
Once upon a time, many years ago, my husband pointed out to me overprotection of my sons, emphasizing that a woman should love her husband first, and then her children. My indignation and resentment knew no bounds. I sincerely did not understand how I could put my children in the background.
But later I realized that my excessive maternal love, the desire to do ordinary things for the child (I do it faster and better) instead of him trying to do them himself, took away the children’s independence and self-confidence.
I had a chance to learn the lessons of releasing jealous and possessive maternal love when my eldest son got married.
Excessive maternal feelings violate the child’s freedom and prevent him from expressing himself. By imposing her worldview, experience and control, such a mother extinguishes the child’s interest in the world.
Children come to spiritually teach their parents to live happily. They love both mom and dad equally, they rejoice when there is mutual understanding and love between them. Parents are called upon to teach children material experience, but not intrusively, without violating the interests and preferences of the child.
The famous psychologist and writer Anatoly Nekrasov, in his famous book “Motherly Love,” touched on the negative, depressing role of excessive maternal love.
If a child in a family becomes the center around which everyone revolves, and parents forget about themselves and each other, such excessive maternal love leads to disastrous consequences. The child and the woman herself, sometimes the family, are doomed to illness, failure, and sometimes death, since the natural law of the value system is violated.
In this system, parents and the love of a woman and a man always come first. And a child in the “space of love,” that is, in conditions of love and mutual understanding between parents, is protected from all troubles and never gets seriously ill.
When a mother is completely absorbed in her love for her child and everyday problems, and her husband is relegated to the background, her femininity suffers. And the man, without the love and spiritual support of his wife, loses his guidelines and goals in life. Hence, in society there is drunkenness, infidelity, etc.
According to the author, the main natural task of a woman is to reveal “the highest qualities of femininity and create a Space of Love in the family.” And motherhood is a consequence of femininity or one of the stages of its development.
A. Nekrasov writes: “The theme of excessive maternal love is global in nature, only in some nations it manifests itself weaker and in others stronger, but it is present and gives rise to many problems all over the world: from minor family troubles and divorces to the death of children...”
Almost no one talks about the destructive influence of excessive maternal love, except for the authors of special psychological literature. On the contrary, society imposes on girls and women the meaning of their lives - motherhood, without caring about what the expectant mother should know in order to raise her children happy.
“And no one will tell her that she comes into this life to love! To love herself, people, men, the Earth, life, and motherhood can be at the same time, if she wants, as a consequence of this love. Precisely as a consequence, and not as the main goal of life!” (A. Nekrasov).
