Essay on the topic Egoism (reasoning) OGE 15.3 grade 9

1. Essays
2. 9th grade and OGE
3. Selfishness

What is egoism? A selfish person is one who thinks only about himself. Who puts their personal interests above the interests of others. Who does not look at the needs of others, and does not even assume that his actions or desires may offend or offend someone.

Of course, few people love a selfish person. It’s difficult to be friends with someone like that and to live with. He does not listen to others, he does what is convenient for him. Gradually, he may be left alone and no one will help him in difficult times...

However, there is another extreme... When a person is ready to do everything for others or for one person, regardless of his desires. He meets halfway in everything, agrees with everyone, gives up his preferences. And who is such a person? One who bends to others, who does not have his own opinion, does not develop as a person.

So is this selfishness good or bad? I think, like any quality, it should be in moderation. If it is selfish to listen only to your desires and, for example, not to understand that your grandmother or mother is tired after a hard day at work, and they do not always have the strength to devote time to you in the evening, then this is bad. This is a good time to give them attention and time, help them around the house, do their homework, and then sit and relax together in front of the TV. And then you will feel good, and they will feel good.

And if you have a company you know, where you spend time and communicate, but every time conflicts or disputes arise, you always agree with everyone, without even trying to express your opinion, then over time, interest in you as a person will fade away , and respect will disappear. And there is also a risk that they will begin to spread rot and humiliate you. Because they don’t like weak people either.

Therefore, I believe that there must be a golden mean. The ability to listen to others, express sympathy, meet halfway and help, but not to the detriment of one’s interests.

Essay on what egoism is

Everyone says that selfishness is very bad, but I think that within reasonable limits it can be useful.

Of course, it’s bad when a person thinks only about himself and takes into account only his own interests. But it’s also bad when he completely forgets about himself! Such people, in my opinion, are as common as egoists. Maybe they balance each other out?

My mother is not selfish at all. She helps everyone. Therefore, everyone knows that all the work can be dumped on her, and she will still worry that it is difficult for her to get everything done. She forgets about herself - to eat normally, sleep. And from those people whom she helped, she received no gratitude, but only nit-picking!

In general, selfishness is not entirely bad. They simply cultivate altruism, and in our time this can be dangerous for the health of a good person. And he can also expect gratitude! And often he doesn’t receive it, he worries. We had to negotiate!

It’s also interesting that they say that if a child is the only child in the family, he will definitely grow up to be selfish. I have an example from my friend. He has two brothers and a sister. And I noticed that he is trained to think about himself first. For example, he doesn't share food. Even though I’m the only one in the family, I’ll definitely offer him half of the chocolate, but he’ll eat it himself and won’t even think about sharing. And all because, as they say, whoever gets up first gets the chocolate. There is a feeling in the family of constant struggle for everything. Who will be the first to play on the computer, who watches TV or takes out the trash. And you have to think about yourself, otherwise you will become Cinderella.

Yes, and he is not spoiled - he is not the youngest in the family.

An egoist thinks only about his own interests, this, however, is ugly. I want to help others, even if it's not always easy. I think about others... I am ready to share almost everything. Just remember that everything should be within reasonable limits.

So it is with greed and frugality. The first is bad, but without the second you will become an embezzler, only making it worse for everyone. Again, it is necessary and important to maintain a balance.

Essay on OGE 15.3. What is egoism?

15.3. How do you understand the meaning of the word EGOISM? Formulate and comment on the definition you have given. Write an essay-argument on the topic: “What is egoism?”, taking the definition you gave as the thesis. When arguing your thesis, give 2 (two) examples-arguments that confirm your reasoning: give one example-argument from the text you read, and the second from your life experience. The essay must be at least 70 words. If the essay is a retelling or completely rewritten of the original text without any comments, then such work is scored zero points.

Write an essay carefully, legible handwriting.

Option 1

Egoism is a person’s desire to put himself above everyone else, and if he succeeds, then it seems to such a person that the world revolves only around him. This quality is considered negative, because behind it are immodesty, pride, and sometimes even heartlessness.

In O. Pavlova's story we can find several egoistic characters.

Max Smirnov, wanting to make a joke, does not hesitate to imitate the stuttering Zhukov (sentence 18). It’s common for Katya Lebedeva to narcissistically admire her embroidery (sentence 26). Despite the fact that Max is the captain of the school basketball team, and Katya is beautiful and talented, they do not evoke sympathy from the reader.

Why?

But because selfishness nullifies all a person’s virtues, making him unpleasant and soulless.

Option 2

I believe that selfishness is one of the most unpleasant qualities in a person. This is narcissism, thirst for attention and stupidity combined. The egoist does not notice the people around him; on the contrary, he expects adoration and admiration.

Let's see, referring to the proposed text, how unpleasant manifestations of selfishness can be.

Katya Lebedeva does not doubt her own superiority so much that she does not for a second allow the thought that Zhukov will write his essay not about her. The narcissistic girl accepts his kind attitude without gratitude, with “feigned discontent” (sentence 49). Surely it was about her that Vovka wrote: “True talent without kindness is like dead flowers” ​​(sentence 52).

Unfortunately, I can also be selfish. I am still ashamed of the money that I took from my grandmother for a long time for small expenses, until my mother told me that my grandmother was saving on herself in order to collect this amount for me. But I didn’t even think about the fact that my grandmother’s pension was very small.

For egoists, as I understand even from my own experience, all interests are limited to their own “I”.

Option 3

I think selfishness is the unwillingness to understand that there is someone else in this world besides you. A selfish person considers himself smarter, better, more worthy than others.

Selfishness is a quality that distinguishes Katya Lebedeva from the story of O. Pavlova. Everyone considers her the first beauty, objects are easy for her, but at the same time she is arrogant (sentence 16), rude (sentence 20) and immodest: Katya calls her embroidery amazing, boasts about it (sentence 25). Agree, such behavior is selfish.

Max Smirnov behaves no better: he does not hesitate to imitate the stuttering Zhukov (sentence 18), and behaves defiantly.

And only Vovka Zhukov, with his essay, taught a lesson to all those who behave selfishly in their class (sentences 51, 52). 252

There is no beauty in a person if he loves only himself and his achievements.

Option 4

Selfishness is the behavior of a person when he thinks only about himself and his merits. Egoists are often characterized by narcissism.

Let us turn to O. Pavlova’s text to prove this idea. Katya, who knows how to embroider well, brings her work to class. Trying to attract everyone’s attention to his paintings, he calls the embroideries a “beautiful garden,” admires them, and seeks confirmation of his delight in the reactions of others (sentences 26, 27).

Her conceit is unpleasant, but Katya does not notice this. In addition, she is sure that Vova, who is in love with her, will definitely tell about her talents. Without even listening to his composition, she comments on what she is reading in order to once again draw attention to herself (sentence 49).

Evgeny Onegin from the novel of the same name by A.S. Pushkin is also an egoist, and was deprived of selfishness? his friend and sincere love.

Selfish people tend to cause hostile feelings.

Option 5

Selfishness is a disdainful attitude towards others and a demonstration of one’s imaginary and real merits. Egoists love only themselves.

Let us prove this idea with examples from O. Pavlova’s text. In the class where the girl Katya studies, everyone has long noticed that the quiet and C-grade student Zhuk is in love with her. However, Katya humiliates him, demonstrating her disdain (sentence 16). Feigned dissatisfaction is also heard in her words when Katya listens to Vovka’s composition, confident that it is written about her (sentence 49).

But the girl certainly signs her works, admires them, and boasts that an exhibition of her “delightful garden” will be organized (sentences 25, 26). Katya does not yet understand how unhappy she is in her selfishness: unable to love anyone other than herself, she is doomed to loneliness.

However, this is natural: few people would want to communicate with a person who is only interested in himself.

Option 6

Selfishness is the disgusting tendency of a person to consider himself better than everyone else. An egoist, as a rule, is soulless and self-confident; he does not take into account the feelings of the people around him.

Thus, in O. Pavlova’s text, Katya leaves an unpleasant impression of herself, although she sings, draws, and embroiders well. However, I don’t want to admire her talent, because the girl constantly does it herself (sentences 26, 27).

Deciding that she is the best and everything is allowed to her, the girl easily insults her classmate (sentence 20). When it comes to the couplet of a boy in love, Katya makes a contemptuous face (sentence 16). This egoist is aware only of her own exclusivity.

In order for everyone to live well in society, everyone must think not only about themselves, but also about others.

Text for work

(1) Tamara Ivanovna, our class teacher, announced: on the last school day there will be no quarter of lessons, the class will gather for tea and everyone will talk about the talent of one of their classmates. (2) It was assumed that this would help us get to know each other better and go on winter holidays in a good mood. (3) It was decided to split into pairs based on the principle of neighboring desks. (4) Without a partner on the assignment, Vovka Zhukov was left alone, occupying the last desk of the third row alone - he did poorly in school, stuttered, and, probably, that’s why he kept to himself. (5) It seemed that Zhuk had no friends either in our class or outside it, and we, frankly speaking, did not care about his loneliness: just think, in every class there is such a strange, quiet, C-grade student.

(6) “Well, Vova,” the teacher shrugged, thinking for a second, “I don’t even know what to do.” (7) Tell us about some person whose talent you admire.

(8) - Beetle?! (9) Admires?! (10) Yes, he doesn’t even know such a word! - Max Smirnov, captain of the school basketball team, grinned. (11) - He can only stare at our Lebedeva without stopping, right, Katka?

(12) Vovka blushed and for some reason looked at Katya with horror: probably until that moment he did not understand that everyone in the class had long noticed that he had chosen the first beauty parallel to Lebedev as the object of his silent adoration. (13) He volunteered as an extraordinary volunteer for class duty when her turn came, and he was also credited with the authorship of a couplet that was once thrown into Katya’s pencil case, written in pencil on a piece of notebook paper: “It’s bright and good for me that you live in the world.”

(14) “You make him feel bright and good,” Smirnov did not let up, “he will write about you!” (15) In verse!

(16) “Yes, I really need his poems,” Lebedeva grimaced, “I too, I’ve found talent!”

(17) - Well, since you have talent, maybe you can tell the people about it?

(18) - Only for this, the Beetle will have to tell you about himself, and he’s not very good at it, r-r-really, J-z-bug?

(19) Vovka pulled his briefcase off the back of his chair and ran out of the classroom, slamming the door deafeningly.

(20) “Crazy,” Lebedeva threw after him.

(21) None of us doubted that despite Smirnov’s mockery, Zhuk would dedicate his story to her. (22) And it wasn’t just Katya’s beauty. (23) She was really talented: she sang beautifully, drew, and studied well.

(24) Katya also embroidered picturesque bouquets, which she presented in frames to teachers and selected friends, having previously signed on the reverse side: E.N. Lebedeva.

(25) She boasted that she had a whole collection at home: “My delightful garden” - that’s what she called it, and one of my father’s colleagues even promised to organize an exhibition of her works.

(26) One day she brought several of them to class and admired: “It seems like they are alive, right? (27) It’s just a pity that they don’t smell!”

(28) However, Katina’s embroidery did not need such advertising: her garden was truly beautiful.

(29) Therefore, on the day of the tea party, Katya rightly expected two stories dedicated to herself.

(30) The whole class had already gathered at the desks, pushed into a common table by our talented sports guys. (31) Vovka was late, and the decision was made to start without him. (32) We took turns performing and devouring baked goods brought by our talented housekeeping girls. (33) During the laudatory speeches, we did not immediately notice how Vovka’s mother entered the class. (34) She waited until we paid attention to her, and told the teacher: “Vova came down with the flu and could not come. (35) He asked me to give you the essay.”

(36)—Oh! (37) Read, read! - Smirnov shouted. (38)— Ode to Lebedeva, part two!

(39) We turned to the teacher who was standing at the door. (40) Everyone turned around except Katya. (41) She looked bored: the class had already had the honor of seeing her new embroidery, which illustrated her friend’s story about the beauty’s talent.

(42) Tamara Ivanovna smoothed out the piece of paper with the essay in her hands:

“Talent is a gift that sets a person apart from the rest. (43) I have no talent, and I don’t stand out in any way. (44) I sometimes think why I lived this day if I don’t know how to create or invent anything? (45) But I know one person who, it seems to me, has real talent. (46) Thanks to her, I realized that the main thing about him is not only beauty that you can admire. (47) Every day I come to school and I see how wonderful her talent is. (48) And its flowers are especially beautiful..."

(49) - Well, really, about me! - Katya drawled with feigned dissatisfaction.

(50) “...The flowers that she planted in pots on the windowsills. (51) I consider our school cleaner Vera Pavlovna to be the most talented person. (52) She is the kindest in our school, and real talent without kindness is like dead flowers that don’t even smell.”

(53) The deathly silence that reigned in the class was broken by the teacher:

(54) - Well done, Zhukov! (55) What a great fellow you are, it turns out!

(According to O. Pavlova)

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Option 3

“Egoist” - many use this word in the wrong meaning. This is often said about people who live for themselves. But is this right?

An egoist is someone who believes that everyone owes him. He does not consider the opinions of others. His angle of view of the world does not extend beyond the radius of his own “I”. Such people live in their own fantasy world, believing that everything revolves exclusively around them. The eyes of the egoist are closed with a veil of faith in imaginary virtues, for which society, in the opinion of the egoist himself, should reward him. Such people do not care about the feelings of others and the consequences.

But where does this lead? Selfishness is a harmful habit for a person. Whatever one may say, sooner or later the veil of the fictitious “beautiful self” falls from the eyes. The egoist realizes the falsity of his worldview. This can lead to disappointment in life and even apathy. The inability to adequately evaluate oneself lets a person down. He realizes that his actions towards others were unfair and stupid. Remorse for his actions does not give him peace. This is inevitable in any case.

But no matter how hard the egoist tries to correct everything that he has done, it is too late. An example of this can be many characters from literary works. One of the striking examples, in my opinion, is Erast from the story by N.M. Karamzin "Poor Liza". Why did the young man ruin Lisa's life? Erast is an egoist and for the sake of his comfort, neglecting the conscience and feelings of the poor girl, he crossed out her future and broke his promise. Did this make him feel better? Whatever one may say, the feeling of responsibility for Lisa’s broken fate haunted the guy. But it was too late. The girl committed suicide.

Such human egoism is a virus for society. It spreads to all people like the consequences of a nuclear explosion. He kills, spoils destinies and hurts everyone. What a pity that this can be found not only in literature, but also in real life. Wanting to create an increasingly comfortable life for themselves, some people forget that their interests should not negatively affect another person. You can't be happy by walking over the heads of others.

I believe that humanity could bypass many unpleasant events in its history. If people thought beyond their own comfort and benefit, we would interact much better with each other.

Selfishness is not only the cause of personal troubles, but also mass ones. And we definitely need to fight it.

Arguments from fiction

Among literary heroes there are many who can be called callous and selfish people. Here are some examples.

1. M. Gorky “Old Woman Izergil”.

M. Gorky’s romantic work “Old Woman Izergil” compositionally consists of three parts. The first part of the work is “The Legend of Larra,” which tells the story of how one day an eagle stole a young and beautiful girl and took her to the mountains. There she became his wife and gave birth to a son. Then the eagle grew old and died, and the girl returned to her native tribe, but not alone, but with her son, whose name was Larra. He is young, handsome and full of strength, dexterous, but overly proud, cruel and predatory. He does not respect the laws of the tribe and refuses to live by them, does not respect the elders of the tribe, could not answer them if he did not want to, treated them as his equals, behaved rudely and defiantly. Larra did not take anyone into account, deciding that he was the first on earth and the best; he did not see or hear anyone except himself. The son of an eagle, he is not capable of experiencing warm feelings. Once he killed a girl just because she found the strength to push him away, to reject him. Such heroes, soulless, callous egoists, are not loved in society, they are condemned. Therefore, Larra, for his pride and unforgivable egoism, was condemned by the tribe to eternal loneliness.

2. M.Yu. Lermontov “Hero of Our Time”.

Grigory Aleksandrovich Pechorin is the name of the main character of M.Yu. Lermontov’s novel “A Hero of Our Time.” Without a doubt, he can be called an egoist. Indeed, all his actions speak of pride and selfishness. He is not used to taking into account the thoughts, feelings, and desires of other people. First of all, he takes care of himself. He liked Bela - he stole her from her father, without thinking that he was making both father and daughter unhappy. He also acts selfishly and disrespectfully towards Maxim Maksimych. The kind old man waited in vain for his former acquaintance, hoping that Pechorin would definitely want to see him as an old good friend, but Pechorin not only did not come to meet the old man, but also did not want to talk for a long time with Maxim Maksimych before leaving the city, which really offended him. The hero's diary entries again convince us of Pechorin's selfishness. He treated Princess Mary very cruelly. The girl sincerely, with all her soul, fell in love with him, but he admits to her that he sought her out of spite for Grushnitsky, as a bet. He doesn’t care at all about the girl’s condition or her feelings. The author emphasizes that Pechorin is a hero of the 30s of the 19th century. For such smart, well-educated, active people, full of strength and energy, at that time there was no real, worthy cause into which they could invest all their strength, all the heat of their hearts. For this reason, they commit selfish acts out of boredom, as if they are playing with other people's destinies and feelings, making everyone who happens to be near them unhappy. But, in my opinion, the lack of work does not in any way justify their selfishness, selfishness, and pride.

3. A.S. Pushkin “Eugene Onegin”.

Introducing readers to the main character of the novel in verse, A.S. Pushkin calls him his good friend, born on the banks of the Neva. Onegin is a young rake, a metropolitan aristocrat, “heir to all his relatives.” He led a carefree, pleasure-filled life of “golden youth”, not burdening himself with either a decent education or service. The main character is not used to caring about anyone, he is a typical egoist. His selfishness and egoism manifest themselves in all their brilliance in the village, where he comes to visit his sick uncle. Feeling his superiority, exalting himself above the rural simpletons, he does not want to get acquainted and communicate with his neighboring landowners, he runs away from them as soon as he sees an approaching carriage or britzka. Onegin becomes close only with Vladimir Lensky, a young poet who introduces the hero to the Larin family. The poet is in love with Olga Larina, the youngest daughter of the family. The eldest daughter, Tatyana, falls in love with Onegin, but he rejects her love. His sermon to Tatyana in the garden is similar to narcissism, characteristic of all narcissists. The hero also acts selfishly towards Lensky, who persuaded him to come to Tatyana’s name day. Onegin begins to court his bride, without thinking about the fact that he is causing suffering not only to Lensky, but also to Tatyana. He is indifferent to everything except his peace of mind. It seems to me that such people are not able to change, they remain true only to themselves.

4. N.V. Gogol “Dead Souls”.

Another hero who joins the gallery of egoists is Pavel Ivanovich Chichikov. It is familiar to the reader from N.V. Gogol’s poem “Dead Souls”. Chichikov appears to us as a pleasant-looking, neat man. He takes care of his appearance, knows how to present himself in society, is smart, observant, courteous, and courteous. It seems, why not a positive hero? But he repels with his spiritual callousness and selfishness. He is interested only in his own benefit, he is used to achieving his goal by any means and means. To get a good certificate, he gains confidence in the teacher, who values ​​obedience most of all. In order to get a higher position, he behaves politely and courteously with the boss, on whom the receipt of a new position depended, and even promises to marry his daughter. But as soon as Chichikov climbed the career ladder, he immediately broke off relations with his boss, not caring that he had deceived him and disgraced his daughter, whom everyone was already calling his bride. The main goal of his life is to accumulate money. He is persistently and persistently moving towards this goal. For personal enrichment, he came up with a scam with dead souls. Driving around the province in order to buy dead peasants, he meets the landowners and comes to visit them. And again, the reader involuntarily emphasizes Chichikov’s calculating egoism. He is first interested in dead souls, then in the affairs of the estate, and only after that asks the name of the owner of the estate. Chichikov is the acquirer, and the author page after page reveals the predatory egoism of the hero, his deceitful, vile essence of the “acquirer,” a person devoid of decency, conscience and honor.

With example

An unpleasant story from childhood has always stuck in my head, and it is impossible to remember it without shame. One hot day in the kindergarten, the water suddenly stopped flowing from the tap. The teacher lined us up in one line, poured the contents of the heated teapot into a large mug and ordered us to pass it to each other. Each of us took one sip of warm water. Thirst tormented everyone, and there were few drinking supplies. Boys and girls slowly poured drops of liquid into themselves, prolonging the pleasure. The mug was in my hands. I didn’t even notice how I drank it all in an instant, driving five or more people into hysterics. An indescribable shriek filled the entire room. “You’re such an egoist,” a woman’s voice sounded in my ear. I was really very sorry. It's a pity that I got so little water. The realization of the disgusting nature of what had been done came only with age. It's a shame, a very shame.

Selfishness is an obsession with one’s own benefit or benefit. To some extent, everyone can be called an egoist. Self-care is okay. But when a person is ready to “go over their heads,” this is already inflated egoism.

What makes a certain group of people put their own interests above all else and not look at others? Some will say that the world is like this. Cruelty and injustice reign on earth. The strongest survives. The theory may have a right to exist. But who builds the world around us, if not ourselves? God, when creating man, did not want this for us. We ourselves made the world what it is now, and we justify selfishness.

I believe that with each new generation this lousy phenomenon will appear among people more and more often. It will get to the point where manifestations of the best human qualities will be considered rare. However, this can be observed today. It is useless to lecture others about morality - at best, they will nod their heads and tell you how they fed a stray dog ​​yesterday. One of the reasons for this behavior, in my opinion, is the following. I'll take my friends as an example. I personally know people who are sincerely convinced that the whole world belongs to them. Try to convince them otherwise - you will hear a wave of indignation. Moreover, the scoundrels sincerely consider themselves to be right. And how can I condemn them if I was a child... In my understanding, drinking water and not sharing it with anyone was the right thing to do. At that moment I felt no remorse. And the teacher’s words did not make any impression on me. Changing someone is difficult. It all depends on the desire of the person himself...

Other essays: ← Self-doubt↑ 9th grade and OGEVThe inner world of a person →

Selfishness: how to live with it?

Due to the fact that someone’s egoism first begins to irritate others, and only then, perhaps, will somehow make the bearer of this quality think, it is in this sequence that we will consider two aspects of this topic. In other words, let’s first talk about how to live with an egoist if you find one in your immediate circle, and then we’ll think about how to cope with excess egoism if you find it in yourself.

It is significant that not all psychologists advise avoiding egoists or immediately breaking off relationships. Firstly, many people enjoy the role of a great martyr, whether in the family or at work. Secondly, there may be objective reasons why stopping interaction with an egoist here and now will do more harm than good.

Of course, a tyrant boss, selfish colleagues and any other negative environment are bad. However, if there is only one enterprise in your regional center where you can work in your specialty, and you are not yet ready to change your profession or move to another city, you will have to come up with something to find the advantages and survive in the current situation. By the way, this is completely real, and our “Mental Self-Regulation” and “Best Communication Techniques” programs will help you with this.

Likewise, it would not be entirely correct to “break the pot”, get a divorce and leave the child without daily communication with dad just because you have seen the light after some year of family life and no longer want to live with an egoist. This model of behavior is not much different from a selfish one. Psychologists have developed a whole strategy on what to do “if your man or husband turns out to be selfish” [otnoshenij.net, 2019].

In our subculture, this situation, when a woman carries the burden of everyday problems, and both spouses believe that this is how it should be, is common. However, at the moment when a woman gets tired of this state of affairs, the following tips on how to act in a given situation may well help her. So what to do if:

• The family needs a car that can accommodate a family of four with things for a vacation trip, but the spouse wants a sporty two-seater sports car. Psychologists advise looking for who could be an authority for such a man, and referring to an authoritative opinion instead of imposing your own. Most sensible people, of course, believe that first you need a car for the whole family, and other models for highly specialized purposes will wait.
• You need a trip to a sanatorium, and your husband needs a new computer. An egoist will give 100,500 reasons in favor of the fact that the computer is more important. For example, it is vital for remote work. This may be true, but a person who truly loves you will worry more about your health than about work, so in an alliance with an egoist it is better to have a separate budget. Or be patient and regularly remind him of your sacrifices in the name of your love. Some psychologists believe that perhaps at some point the egoist will become better.
• A man constantly talks exclusively about himself and his undoubted merits. And at the same time about how lucky the woman is to be next to him. The main task of a woman is to agree in time how lucky she is with such a man, and in time to divert the conversation in another direction when the session of narcissism begins to drag on. In general, find and maintain balance.

In general, finding and maintaining balance is almost universal advice for all occasions. A person who is able to find a balance between family and work, work and rest, routine and creativity, his own and other people’s interests, has a chance to succeed in any field. This, again, applies to both women and men. There are quite a lot of opposite situations, and then psychologists rush to the rescue with advice, “What to do if a girl is selfish?” [Speed ​​Dating, 2021]. So, what to do if you like a girl and she uses it for selfish purposes:

• Verbally accept the girl’s point of view, but be sure to express your opinion in a gentle form.
• Do not show weakness by pleasing the girl always and in everything.
• Refrain from sorting things out if the girl provokes a conflict.
• Refrain from quarrels on your part, especially if there is no good reason.
• If the conflict could not be prevented, listen carefully to the girl so that she can “blow off steam.”
• Give compliments so that the girl understands that you love her.

Sometimes you can come across such advice as to “knock” out of the hands of an egoist her main weapon – sex. More precisely, do not allow her to manipulate using this side of the relationship, but when trying to manipulate, portray indifference and indifference. We don’t know how realistic this is in practical implementation, when a man is madly in love, so we will leave this advice to the discretion of the readers.

If a man manages to marry a selfish woman, most psychologists consider the ideal option to end such a toxic relationship as soon as possible. If at the moment a divorce is impossible for some reason (children, mortgage, career dependence on the wife’s relatives, etc.), then the option to stop thinking about her and start working on yourself is suitable [R. Vinilov, 2020]. If necessary, it is better to consult a psychologist, because this way there is a greater chance of maintaining mental health and energy for changes in life when a man is ripe for decisive action.

This, by the way, happens all the time when crazy love passes and a man begins to notice other women who are younger, prettier and not so selfish. Selfish women are usually not happy with the outcome in the form of divorce and alimony, and that is why there is a reason to try to get rid of your own unhealthy selfishness if you find signs of it in yourself.

Men should also get rid of selfishness if their personal life has stalled, because otherwise absolutely the same problems caused by personal selfishness will appear in the next relationship. We offer you the top 14 tips from practicing psychologists that will help you get rid of selfishness [memblog.ru, 2020]. So, how to get rid of your own egoism:

1. Start with small changes. For example, take part in a game or competition where there are obviously stronger opponents. Learn to accept losing and the fact that someone can be better than you calmly.
2. Try to treat people with respect. Where there is respect, there is usually no room for selfishness.
3. Be sure to say a big and sincere “thank you” if they helped you in any way, even if it’s just a small thing. Gratitude, to some extent, is a charge of positive energy, so this way you will quickly learn to give, and not just take, on an energetic level.
4. Look people in the eyes when you communicate. Eye contact should not be long and intrusive, and if you learn to look at your interlocutor correctly, this will be a sign of respect for him.
5. Listen carefully to your interlocutor. This is also an element of respect in nonverbal communication. In addition, after listening and understanding the request of the interlocutor, you may come to the conclusion that it is not so difficult for you to help him.
6. Read more, because empathy for literary characters develops the ability to empathize in real life.
7. Get a pet or feed stray animals from time to time. Such participation in the lives of our little brothers develops kindness and teaches us to think about others.
8. Show concern for loved ones. Listen to an elderly relative, visit your parents, ask your wife how to help her at the moment.
9. Stop expecting a mandatory and immediate return from all the good things you have just done. You need to be able to invest in the future, including future good relationships. And you need to be able to do good for free, without expecting anything in return.
10. Meet new people regularly. New faces, as a rule, arouse genuine interest, and over time there will be more and more moments when those around you are more interesting than yourself.
11. Find positive qualities in people around you. In order not to forget, immediately write down everything that comes to mind.
12. Get creative - photography, drawing, singing, music. By empathizing with visual characters or musical images, you develop empathy and leave less room for selfishness.
13. Be calm because your worry will not change much. Remember the positive moments in your life more often and lay the foundation for positive moments in the future. For example, thinking through and writing down your life goals.
14. Stop being afraid for yourself. As with anxiety, little depends on the emotion of fear, but fear for oneself is a fertile ground for the growth of selfishness and thoughtless pursuit of one’s own desires to the detriment of others.

Let us remind you that this is advice from practicing psychologists on how to get rid of selfishness. Let us clarify once again that the ability to defend personal boundaries and one’s interests is not selfishness, but an absolutely necessary quality in life. Moreover, today there are no less recommendations on how to cultivate healthy egoism than there are on how to get rid of selfish tendencies [N. Kopylova, 2020].

In other words, everything needs balance. A little earlier we already said that finding and maintaining balance is almost universal advice for all occasions. And then they will never say about you that you are an egoist or selfish, and that your behavior is the height of selfishness.

By the way, the song “The Height of Selfishness,” performed by the Belarusian singer Arkusha, is far from the only one on this burning topic. Of course, writing a text about selfishness is not as easy as writing about love-carrots, roses-tears and other endlessly repeating situations. But if there is such a topic as selfishness, writing songs on this topic will also happen.

Thus, in October 2021, the Ukrainian singer Vasilina Borovskaya-Zazulyak, performing under the pseudonym “Zozulya”, presented her song “Egoism”:

Even earlier, in 2012, a composition with the same name was presented to the public by Russian rapper Ivan Alekseev, better known under the pseudonym Noize MC:

Let us note that the topic of egoism in songwriting is relevant not only for our post-Soviet space. At one time, the composition Εγωισμός, which translated from Greek means “Egoism,” was performed by the popular Greek singer Dimitris Mitropanos:

As for English-language music, they prefer to use the word Selfish in song titles, both in the meaning of “selfish” and in the meaning of “selfish”. So, Meghan Trainor sang My Selfish Heart, Jessie Ware performed the song Selfish Love, and another “Selfish Love” was presented by DJ Snake & Selena Gomez. And finally, compositions with the same name Selfish were presented at different times to enthusiastic audiences by Madison Beer, SAINt JHN and Rihanna with the participation of Future.

It seems that these examples of “selfishness” in songs are enough to understand: the topic is relevant and painful for our time, and worries a fairly large number of people. Therefore, the problem must be solved in all available ways, including through creativity. By the way, we have already said that creativity helps to develop the best spiritual qualities of a person and learn to empathize with other people’s problems, and not just your own. In general, as Noize MC sang, “other people’s weakness will not make you stronger, other people’s stupidity will not make you smarter.”

Yes, such a topic as selfishness can be viewed endlessly from different angles and from different sides. We wish that this topic arouses exclusively theoretical cognitive interest in you, and that on your path you meet only good people who are ready to give you love in response to your concern. And in addition, we suggest answering a question on the topic of the article:

We also recommend reading:

• Storytelling
• Egoism: what is good and what is bad?
• Working with delays
• Existential psychology: ideas, stages of development, representatives
• What lessons can a monkey teach a person?
• Lessons of Wisdom from Benedict Spinoza
• Ten ways to become a team player
• Conscience: why doesn’t everyone have it and what to do if it doesn’t?
• 13 reasons why conflicts arise
• Hedonism as a way to improve life
• Paradoxes of personal development

Key words: 1 Communication, 1 Psychoregulation