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Chameleon. A. P. Chekhov

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Illustration by Vysheslavtsev for Chekhov’s story “Chameleon”

There is silence all around... Not a soul in the square... The open doors of shops and taverns look sadly into the light of God, like hungry mouths; There are not even beggars around them.

- So you bite, damned one? - Ochumelov suddenly hears. “Guys, don’t let her in!” Today it is forbidden to bite! Hold it! Ah...ah!

A dog squeal is heard. Ochumelov looks to the side and sees: a dog is running from the wood warehouse of the merchant Pichugin, jumping on three legs and looking around. A man in a starched cotton shirt and an unbuttoned vest is chasing after her.” He runs after her and, leaning his body forward, falls to the ground and grabs the dog by the hind legs. A second dog squeal and cry is heard: “Don’t let me in!” Sleepy faces poke out of the shops, and soon a crowd gathers near the woodshed, as if growing out of the ground.

“It’s not a mess, your honor!” says the policeman.

Ochumelov makes a half turn to the left and walks towards the gathering. Near the very gates of the warehouse, he sees the above-described man standing in an unbuttoned vest and, raising his right hand, shows the crowd a bloody finger. It was as if it was written on his half-drunk face: “I’m already going to rip you off, you scoundrel!” and the finger itself looks like a sign of victory. In this man, Ochumelov recognizes the goldsmith Khryukin. In the center of the crowd, with his front legs spread out and his whole body trembling, the culprit of the scandal himself is sitting on the ground - a white greyhound puppy with a sharp muzzle and a yellow spot on his back. There is an expression of melancholy and horror in his teary eyes.

- What is the occasion here? - asks Ochumelov, crashing into the crowd. - Why here? Why are you using your finger?.. Who screamed?

Illustration by Kardovsky for Chekhov’s story “Chameleon”

“I’m going, your honor, I’m not bothering anyone...” Khryukin begins, coughing into his fist. “About the firewood with Mitriy Mitrich, - and suddenly this vile one, for no reason at all, grabs a finger... Excuse me, I’m a man who works ... My job is small. Let them pay me, because maybe I won’t lift this finger for a week... This, your honor, is not in the law to endure from the creature... If everyone bites, then it’s better not to live in the world...

“Hm!.. Okay...” says Ochumelov sternly, coughing and wiggling his eyebrows. - Okay... Whose dog? I won't leave it like this. I'll show you how to loosen dogs! It's time to pay attention to such gentlemen who do not want to obey the regulations! When they fine him, the bastard, he will learn from me what a dog and other stray cattle mean! I’ll show him Kuzka’s mother!.. Eldyrin,” the warden turns to the policeman, “find out whose dog this is and draw up a report!” But the dog must be exterminated. Immediately! She must be mad... Whose dog is this, I ask?

- This seems to be General Zhigalov! - someone shouts from the crowd.

- General Zhigalov? Hm!.. Take off my coat, Eldyrin... It’s terribly hot! Probably before the rain... There’s only one thing I don’t understand: how could she bite you? - Ochumelov turns to Khryukin. - Will she reach her finger? She’s small, but you look so healthy! You must have picked your finger with a nail, and then the idea came to your head to rip it off. You are... famous people! I know you, devils!

- He, your honor, smokes her mug for laughter, and she - don’t be a fool and a jerk... A cantankerous person, your honor!

— You’re lying crookedly! I didn’t see it, so why lie? Their honor is an intelligent gentleman and they understand if someone is lying, and someone according to his conscience, as before God... And if I am lying, then let the world judge. His law says... Nowadays everyone is equal... I myself have a brother in the gendarmes... if you want to know...

- Don't argue!

“No, this is not a general’s uniform...” the policeman remarks thoughtfully. “The general doesn’t have those.” He has more and more cops...

- Do you know this correctly?

- That's right, your honor...

- I know it myself. The general’s dogs are expensive, purebred, but this one—the devil knows what! No fur, no appearance... just meanness... And keep such a dog?!.. Where is your mind? If you had caught such a dog in St. Petersburg or Moscow, do you know what would have happened? They wouldn’t look at the law there, but instantly - don’t breathe! You, Khryukin, suffered and don’t leave it like that... We need to teach you a lesson! It's time...

“Or maybe it’s a general’s,” the policeman thinks out loud. “It’s not written on her face... I saw one like that in his yard the other day.”

- Yes, the general's! - says a voice from the crowd.

- Hm!.. Put a coat on me, brother Eldyrin... Something blew in the wind... It’s chilling... You take her to the general and ask there. You will say that I found it and sent it... And tell her not to let her out into the street... She may be dear, but if every pig pokes a cigar in her nose, how long will it take to ruin it. A dog is a gentle creature... And you, idiot, put your hand down! There's no point in sticking out your stupid finger! It's my own fault!..

- The general’s cook is coming, we’ll ask him... Hey, Prokhor! Come here, darling! Look at the dog... Yours?

- Made it up! We've never had anything like this before!

“And there’s nothing to ask here for a long time,” says Ochumelov. “She’s a stray!” There is no point in talking here for a long time... If he said that she was stray, then she was stray... Exterminate, that's all.

“This is not ours,” continues Prokhor. “This is the general’s brother who arrived the other day.” Ours is not a hunter of greyhounds. Their brother is willing...

- Has their brother really arrived? Vladimir Ivanovich? - asks Ochumelov, and his whole face is filled with a smile of tenderness. - Look, my God! I didn’t even know! Have you come to visit?

- On a visit...

- Look, my God... We missed our brother... But I didn’t even know! So is this their dog? I’m very glad... Take her... What a wow little dog... So nimble... Grab this one by the finger! Ha-ha-ha... Well, why are you trembling? Rrr... Rrr... Angry, rascal... such a tsutsyk...

Prokhor calls the dog and walks with it from the woodshed... The crowd laughs at Khryukin.

- I’ll still get to you! - Ochumelov threatens him and, wrapping himself in his greatcoat, continues his way through the market square.

A. P. Chekhov, 1884

Illustration for Chekhov's story "Chameleon". Artist Gerasimov Sergey Vasilievich, 1945

Thank you for reading Anton Pavlovich Chekhov’s “Chameleon”!

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Anton Chekhov - Chameleon

Chekhov Anton Pavlovich

Chameleon

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

Chameleon

Police warden Ochumelov walks through the market square in a new overcoat and with a bundle in his hand. A red-haired policeman walks behind him with a sieve filled to the brim with confiscated gooseberries. There is silence all around... Not a soul in the square... The open doors of shops and taverns look sadly into the light of God, like hungry mouths; There are not even beggars around them.

- So you bite, damned one? - Ochumelov suddenly hears. - Guys, don't let her in! Today it is forbidden to bite! Hold it! Ah...ah!

A dog squeal is heard. Ochumelov looks to the side and sees: a dog is running from the wood warehouse of the merchant Pichugin, jumping on three legs and looking around. A man in a starched cotton shirt and an unbuttoned vest is chasing after her. He runs after her and, leaning his body forward, falls to the ground and grabs the dog by the hind legs. A second dog squeal and cry is heard: “Don’t let me in!” Sleepy faces poke out of the shops, and soon a crowd gathers near the woodshed, as if growing out of the ground.

“It’s not a mess, your honor!” says the policeman.

Ochumelov makes a half turn to the left and walks towards the gathering. Near the very gates of the warehouse, he sees the above-described man standing in an unbuttoned vest and, raising his right hand, shows the crowd a bloody finger. On his half-drunk face it seems to be written: “I’ll rip you off, you scoundrel!”, and even the finger itself looks like a sign of victory. In this man, Ochumelov recognizes the goldsmith Khryukin. In the center of the crowd, with his front legs spread out and his whole body trembling, the culprit of the scandal himself is sitting on the ground - a white greyhound puppy with a sharp muzzle and a yellow spot on his back. There is an expression of melancholy and horror in his teary eyes.

- What is the occasion here? - asks Ochumelov, crashing into the crowd. - Why here? Why are you using your finger?.. Who screamed!

“I’m going, your honor, I’m not bothering anyone...” Khryukin begins, coughing into his fist. “About firewood with Mitriy Mitrich,” and suddenly this vile one, out of nowhere, grabbed a finger... Excuse me, I’m a person who works... My job is small. Let them pay me, because maybe I won’t lift this finger for a week... This, your honor, is not in the law to endure from the creature... If everyone bites, then it’s better not to live in the world...

“Hm!.. Okay...” says Ochumelov sternly, coughing and wiggling his eyebrows. Okay...Whose dog? I won't leave it like this. I'll show you how to loosen dogs! It's time to pay attention to such gentlemen who do not want to obey the regulations! As soon as I fine him, the scoundrel, he will learn from me what a dog and other stray cattle mean! I’ll show him Kuzka’s mother!.. Eldyrin,” the warden turns to the policeman, “find out whose dog this is and draw up a report!” But the dog must be exterminated. Don't hesitate! She must be mad... Whose dog is this, I ask?

- This seems to be General Zhigalov! - says someone from the crowd.

- General Zhigalov? Hm!.. Take off my coat, Eldyrin... Horror, how hot it is! Probably before the rain... There’s only one thing I don’t understand: how could she bite you? - Ochumelov addresses Khryukin. - Will she reach her finger? She’s small, but you look so healthy! You must have picked your finger with a nail, and then the idea came to your head to rip it off. You are... famous people! I know you, devils!

- He, your honor, hits her mug with a cigarette for laughter, and she - don’t be a fool and bite... A cantankerous person, your honor!

- You're lying, crooked one! I didn’t see it, so why lie? Their honor is an intelligent gentleman and they understand if someone is lying, and someone according to his conscience, as before God... And if I am lying, then let the world judge. His law says... Nowadays everyone is equal... I myself have a brother in the gendarmes... if you want to know...

- Don't argue!

“No, this is not a general’s uniform...” the policeman remarks thoughtfully. - The general doesn’t have those. He's getting more and more kicking...

- Do you know this correctly?

- That's right, your honor...

- I know it myself. The general’s dogs are expensive, purebred, but this one is the devil knows what! No fur, no appearance... just meanness... And keep such a dog?! Where is your mind? If you had caught such a dog in St. Petersburg or Moscow, do you know what would have happened? They wouldn’t look at the law there, but instantly - don’t breathe! You, Khryukin, suffered and don’t leave it like that... We need to teach you a lesson! It's time...

“Or maybe the general’s…” the policeman thinks out loud. “It’s not written on her face... The other day we saw one in his yard.”

- Yes, the general's! - says a voice from the crowd.

- The general’s cook is coming, we’ll ask him... Hey, Prokhor! Come here, darling! Look at the dog... Yours?

- Made it up! We've never had anything like this before!

“And there’s nothing to ask here for a long time,” says Ochumelov. - She's a stray! There is no point in talking here for a long time... If he said that she was a stray, then she was a stray... Exterminate, that's all.

“This is not ours,” continued Prokhor. - This is the general’s brother who arrived the other day. Ours is not a hunter of greyhounds. Their brother is willing...

- Has their brother really arrived? Vladimir Ivanovich? - asks Ochumelov, and his whole face is filled with a smile of tenderness. - Look, gentlemen! I didn’t even know! Have you come to visit?

- On a visit...

Prokhor calls the dog and walks with it from the woodshed... The crowd laughs at Khryukin.

- I’ll still get to you! - Ochumelov threatens him and, wrapping himself in his greatcoat, continues his way through the market square.